On Being a “Nice INTJ”

“How are you an INTJ? You’re too nice!”

This was said to me by one of my friends the other night while we were talking about the Myers-Briggs types. I know she meant well by it, I wasn’t offended by it, and I’m certainly not here to dispute the validity of it. However, what she said made me think, and I believe it’s evidence of one of the biggest misconceptions regarding INTJs and the Meyers-Briggs personality types as a whole.

I’ve written about something similar before when I ranted about INTJ representation in fiction and how I was tired of being cast as the villain. Stereotypically, INTJs are callous, arrogant, and overall unkind people. As I stated in that earlier post, this stereotype is actually very rarely the truth, but how can that be? If INTJs are supposed to have these traits of fierce independence and confidence, how can they be kind? I’m not gonna pretend I have all the answers, but I’d like to provide a few thoughts on the matter.

Read More »

The Toxicity of Introvert Culture

Imagine you’re at a get-together with some of your friends, and you meet someone new. You make small talk for a while, but then the conversation turns to fruit.

“I’m an apple-lover,” your new friend says, carefully explaining to you what that means, what apples are, and how apple-lovers are just so misunderstood.

When there’s a lull in the conversation, you say, “I like apples, but I actually prefer oranges.”

And that’s when the conversation gets nasty. Your new apple-loving friend demands to know how you could be so rude and inconsiderate to have different ideas about fruit. Clearly apple-lovers are superior, and orange-lovers need to know where their place is!

Now, I don’t know about you, but that whole scenario sounds pretty ridiculous to me. I mean, imagine being awful to someone else just because of one of their traits. Seems crazy, right?

Oh. Wait.

Read More »